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who have been together for maybe 7 yrs..they introduced me to my BF about 5 yrs ago..since then we have enjoyed a great relationship, dinner once or twice a week and traveling etc..my BF and me get along great but,one half of the couple, is very insecure and jealous of who is a hot lookin guy..- needs to to go out of town once in awhile on business and hangs out with us while he is gone..- s me at work saying I need to talk..so we have lunch and he drops a bomb on me..While is gone and two other guys smoke some shit and drink some wine which ends up in a threesome .- is totally freaked out and really afraid find out..my first reaction was get to a clinic and get checked out for STDs..- knows this couple that messed around with and it's only a matter of time before he finds out..in the meantime I'm walking around with a timebomb..I can't tell my BF, he's very fond out both these guys..if finds out that I knew about it he be pissed at me too I so wish that didn't tell me about this I don't know what to do..help ??? latino married looking for some funFetishes are specific and important to those who hold them, so of course it can turn into a hot button topic. Even worse, generally when someone has a real knowledge of something and speaks directly and with passion about it it sometimes threatens people around them (that's just the way it is, unfortunately) makes them feel "punished" when no negative intent is involved. Sometimes I get really passionate about submission, and get irked when submission or subs get misrepresented either by those of the ilk or by those who are ignorant but never have I addressed it with the intent to punish that's like totally righteous dude, and not in the good way. It defeat me before I'm started over time. Its taken me some effort (I think) to even change what D/s looks like to my partner who had done a ton of kinky shit but had always felt not in tune with D/s and probably at times was turned off by it. Without definitions in some areas, none of us would feel passionate about stuff. It's *our* kink community, *our* D/s, *our* bdsm in general, and we need our definitions because it gives us a way to communicate why we do what we do. I don't want to just be lumped in as kinky I need to define D/s as well. without a def .this would all be lumped together as just 'stuff we like' we'd all be homogeneous, yuck with no definitions and that's not natural. Not every dominant wants to be lumped in with tops etc So especially here with the one person I know who has a serious fetish his intent never be to punish ignorance because then he'll never be able to stand up for what he feels is a very defined thing. Nobody would ever listen. And how do you describe a feeling? A fetish evokes a specific sort of feeling and reaction for those that hold it. Yes, the def vary depending on who you ask but I believe there is one answer to this and that is that it is a very defined and rigid set of conditions that cause a thing to be a fetish for someone. I feel the word "fantasize" should replace "fetish" in 99% of fetish conversations. long distance dating
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