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First time posting, so please bear with me :) Was married for 18 years, officially separated since Feb. X wife has not worked until recently My mistake (and I know this was stupid on my part) was not separating financial stuff until about a year later Since Feb. date of separation: I've paid % of joint debt (approx $40k) I've paid % of all household expenses (approx $85K) including mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, groceries, car payments, etc. even though I was not living there. I was trying to keep her and my two high school age in the house until they graduated. I was under no separation decree to do this. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Since separation, my X wife has also raided the the account, buying palm readings, on-line spell casting, sex toys, thousands in clothing, giving money to one of her boyfriends, etc. I have records of all of this. We'll be going to our mandetory settlement conference. Here's what I'm hoping to find out: For the joint debt, would a judge me 50% of what I've paid? If she has no cash, how would I receive that back? reduced spousal support? Any thoughts? Any experiences out there? For excessive spending on her part for the above stuff, what would a judge decide? I want to go into the settlement conference knowing what I can expect if she stone-walls me and we have to go to court. I've attempted to negotiate with her on several occasions, but she's poo-poo'd everything I've presented. I also agreed to pay for % of legal fees if she'd go to a mediator, which we did, and when we finished and she saw what the settlement was, she didn't like the amount, and told me to pound sand. Another $3K down the toilet .. I know this rambles a bit, but any advice out of experience would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Thanks! i fucked a thousand cocksChapter 2 HeartlandHurt neglects to add the part of the story about the ex cheating a half dozen years ago that lead to their split. She also neglects to add that the ex has exercised financial irresponsibility resulting in her move back in with HH a week after she met new girlfriend (NYG- Oh hell now that we are up to LGBTQALMNOP what's another acronym?) NYG, having fallen for HH and having a terrific time in the fun wonderful that is the honeymooon months, saw no issue with the ex moving in. months later, and assured the ex situation was temporary, NYG also moved in. The first Christmas was happy, and the group was strangely functional. Only one little detail had been overlooked for NYG: Autonomy. Chapter 3 Reality began to set in as "temporary" became 14 months of not a single job interview or rental application for the ex/roommate. NYG was seeing this former family unit reunited and seemingly intact in the same house that had once belonged to just the two mothers and their. It doesn't take a vivid imagination to the unsustainability of this situation. While it's one thing to be reminded of a partner's ex via toaster oven or bad tattoo, having her live with you brings it up close and personal. A sad and frustrating predicament for HH. Tell the ex to get a job and get out? The ex could take the and leave town, her family is out of state, she owns no property here, HH couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Ex is the biological parent for those of you who needed that detail Option #2, tough it out, keep peace with ex and watch what was a wonderful and budding relationship with NYG turn sour as bitterness and resentment began to taint their relationship. date married women
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