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have lots of options. I am obviously a highly desired commodity in numerous Eastern European nations who find me not only to be husband material but a sexual dynamo so I got that going for me. But in all honesty there are words you use that I guess I've retrained my to short circuit in my own 'self thoughts'. I agree that single is much better than in a shitty relationship but each relationship I've been in have been good too. Obviously they didn't work out and at some point were 'shitty' and that's a living hell. hurts when a relationship dies and all the bad stuff comes to the surface, the things we ignore until they won't let us, betrayals, self doubt, missed opportunity and investment of our lives but wasted? Never. Who am I? Do I like who I am? Well, far from perfect but overall, yeah. I'm a nice guy, overall I treat people well and I do say the same kind of shit I do on here what you can't hear is my tone or my smile. The 'dumbest' shit that someone posts for the most part, I've done equal and sometimes worse. but if I look at who I know today, my true friends I would NEVER trade that. I know some amazing people and I still have huge challenges and should I succeed I be very proud should I fail, I can only that I know I tried. I invite 'drama' into my life I can't avoid it unless I crawl into a box. I stress over work, it hurts to keep a relationship with a stepson who now lives away, I'm missing my other family the exlaws, nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters but I'm keeping them too, brother ain't doing too well could be faced with hard decisions there, I've decided if and when he needs it, I'll open my door. those things pile on, take my energy I might pass on the perfect match because I won't invest the time and not one day be wasted even if my choice turns out wrong and maybe I'll take a risk on someone that that goes bad but just knowing it was ME is enough. Sometimes all it takes is that spark wow, who are YOU? Doesn't happen often but those are things worth getting hurt over happens when you care. I'm ok with it. Ponce married wives
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